Rude Sasami!
by MonkeyGoneMad
Summary: Chapter 3! You waited all this time for 803 words! Sasami gets no revenge at all! My first fic so FLAME IF YOU DONT LIKE IT! Be nice now.
1. What's for breakfast?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Tenchi cast.  
  
  
  
Rude Sasami! Chapter 1: What's for breakfast?  
  
  
  
  
  
"Breakfast time! Hey Ryo-ohki heres a carrot." As Sasami grabs the carrot Tenchi comes in.  
  
  
  
"Hey Sasami, what's for breakfast?"  
  
  
  
"SHUT UP TENCHI! DAMN I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU EVERYDAY! *Tenchi voice* whats for breakfast. whats for breakfast. whats for breakfast. *normal* SO SHUT UP! Oh yeah and Tenchi."  
  
  
  
"Ummm…"  
  
  
  
"SHUT UP WHEN I TALK TO YOU GODDAMN IT!"  
  
  
  
" Ok…"  
  
  
  
"I said shut UP Tenchi. Go get everyone."  
  
  
  
"I'll go get every body then. BYE!" Tenchi runs out crying.  
  
  
  
"I hate him, don't you Ryo-ohki." Sasami says to the cabbit.  
  
  
  
"Miya!" In agreement. "Miya! Miya! Miya!"  
  
  
  
"Oh yeah your carrot I almost forgot. Go get it Ryo-ohki!" She FAKE throws it outside.  
  
  
  
"Miya." Ryo-ohki says as she runs along.  
  
  
  
"Stupid ass."  
  
  
  
\/\//\\/\^__^//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  
  
"Why are you crying Tenchi?" Asked Ryoko, Ayeka, Kiyone and a dumb blonde.  
  
"Sa-sa-mi." Tenchi answered slowly.  
  
  
  
"Oh my, is she hurt?" asked a worried Ayeka.  
  
  
  
" No! THE BITCH HURT MY FEELINGS!" said a very pissed off Tenchi.  
  
  
  
"Oh-oh!" Said Kiyone and Mihoshi knowing what was going to happen next.  
  
  
  
Ryoko and Ayeka exploded with rage. "THAT BITCH IS GOING DOWN!" Yelled Ryoko and disappeared with Ayeka running down to the kitchen.  
  
  
  
"Im going to my-my-my ROOM! Wahh!" Tenchi ran to his room.  
  
  
  
"Normal day huh Kiyone." Said Mihoshi very happily.  
  
  
  
"Shut up MiHO!"  
  
\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\  
  
  
  
"Ahhhhhh!" yelled Sasami as Ryoko kicked her right in the ass.  
  
  
  
"Ryoko stop." said Ayeka smiling. "Its my turn."  
  
  
  
Just then Washu opens her lab door. She opened her mouth to speak like this, "^O^" but then she opened her eyes and saw Ryoko and Ayeka kicking Sasami's ass. "Why are you hitting Sasami?"  
  
  
  
"Because she hurt MY TENCHI'S feelings." They both said.  
  
  
  
"What!?" They looked at each other. "Hey! His mine!"  
  
  
  
"Take it outside you two, you here that TAKE IT!" said Washu.  
  
  
  
"K!" was the answer from both of them as they walked outside. "Ryo-ohki get back inside the house!"  
  
  
  
"Heh heh, thank you was…"Sasami got interrupted  
  
  
  
"SHUT UP, YOU! YOU (a/n ok stop yelling) hurt my guinea pig's feelings! You will now feel my wrath!"  
  
  
  
"Ahhh! Im SORRY!" said Sasami already bleeding.  
  
  
  
"That all I needed to hear." Said Tenchi coming down the stairs with Kiyone and Mihoshi behind him.  
  
  
  
"Oh Tenchi." Said a crying Sasami running to Tenchi to give him a hug. "Suckers."  
  
Said Sasami under her breath.  
  
\/\/\/\/\\/  
  
Ryoko stopped attacking when she saw Sasami hug Tenchi and phased into the house.  
  
  
  
"Huh where she go." Said a confused Ayeka while wandering into the forest. "AHHHHHH!" She got hit by a car.  
  
  
  
In the car. "We're going to to see Tenchi. We're going to see Tenchi. We're going to see Tenchi." And so on. The car was filled with Tenchi's friends that I don't want to name right now. They drove off a cliff.  
  
\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/  
  
  
  
"Did you guys make up or are you still 'suffering' Tenchi dear." Said Ryoko walking up to Tenchi. Glaring at Sasami showing her fist.  
  
  
  
Sasami hid behind Tenchi. "No we made up." Said Sasami starting to FAKE cry.  
  
  
  
"Is this right Tenchi."  
  
  
  
"Yes Ryoko."  
  
  
  
"Ok then lets EAT!"  
  
  
  
"Ryoko, where is Ayeka?" said Mihoshi.  
  
  
  
"Who cares?"  
  
  
  
"RYOKO!" said all at the same time.  
  
  
  
"Oh she's outside."  
  
  
  
"Are you sure?" asked Tenchi.  
  
  
  
"YES IM SURE DAMN IT! Oh sorry Tenchi."  
  
  
  
"That's ok, I'll go look for her."  
  
  
  
"I'll help you Tenchi." Said Ryoko seductively.  
  
  
  
"Umm no i'm fine alone." Said Tenchi trying not to agree. And for someone like Tenchi, that takes a lot of power.  
  
  
  
"Ok let go then Tenchi!" Ryoko grinned.  
  
  
  
"Oh, oh right." Said Tenchi trying not to smile. (Thinking) We love to see you smile. Heh heh.  
  
  
  
They walked out side and wandered into the forest.  
  
  
  
"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Said Washu.  
  
  
  
"We could eat or we could…" Sasami trailed off. They all stared at each other. Then ran to their own room.  
  
/\/\\//\  
  
  
  
In the forest.  
  
  
  
"Tenchi let leave this is boring."  
  
  
  
"As if there is anything else to do." Tenchi said looking at Ryoko. (Thinking) Oh great I got her started.  
  
  
  
"I guess you right." Ryoko said very slowly. (Tenchi thinking) Good. YAH! YEAH! HAHAHHA!  
  
  
  
"Oh wait I just thought of something to do." She said 'to do' seductive.  
  
  
  
"Wh-wha-what could we dh dah do." Said Tenchi scared.  
  
  
  
"We could go back home…and…"  
  
  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
  
  
"And EAT!"  
  
  
  
"Umm we gotta look for Ayeka first."  
  
  
  
"Well I'm going back. Bye!" She left.  
  
  
  
"Good now I don't have to stop."  
  
  
  
"Lalala lala." Tenchi sung.  
  
  
  
"Shut up son."  
  
  
  
"Who's there, dad?" Silence. "Oh well."  
  
  
  
"There you are Ayeka. Get up. Ayeka. AYEKA! Umm… I didn't see this." And with that he kicked Ayeka off the cliff.  
  
  
  
/\/\/\/\  
  
  
  
"Where is everyone?" Said Ryoko searching the house.  
  
  
  
"I'm back!" said Tenchi walking into the house.  
  
  
  
"Hi Tenchi." Said Ryoko.  
  
  
  
"Hi. Uh where is everybody?" Just when he said it everyone came out. Sasami went running to the kitchen to set up the table.  
  
  
  
"Sasami."  
  
  
  
"What Tenchi."  
  
  
  
"Whats for Breakfast."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	2. Sasami's Revenge-Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Tenchi cast.  
  
  
  
Rude Sasami! Chapter 2: Sasami's Revenge-Part 1  
  
  
  
Author's Note: I didn't think anyone would read or review `Rude Sasami!`, but three of you did, but now on with chapter 2! Oh yeah and no one said anything for me to put for chapter 2, so I just chose myself.  
  
  
  
Now night time same day.  
  
A dark figure came out of the house and it was kind of small. It started to run out far away. Then it ran in circles screaming, "DOUGHNUTS!" Then it calmed down. It started to laugh evilly. "I will have my REVENGE!"  
  
"SHUT UP, SON!! I'M TRYING TO GET LAID!"  
  
"Who the hell was that?" Said the dark figure really scared.  
  
"Well im the President of the UNITED STATES!" A song then came on.  
  
DUN DUN DA NAH NAH…  
  
"Stop the music son…"  
  
"You're the the President of the UNIT…" Then the dark figure got interrupted.  
  
"Well I used to be. Now I just hang out here jacking-off of all those women in that house over there." The FORMER president points at the Masaki house.  
  
"That's MY house, come in if you would like to `meet` the women in there." Said the dark figure plotting its revenge.  
  
"Why sure, why not." He said starting to think `happy` thoughts.  
  
YES! My revenge will be so sweet! Thought the dark figure. "But wait! Didn't you say you were trying to get laid?"  
  
"Um that's just what I always say."  
  
"Ok then let's go."  
  
"What's your name little girl?"  
  
"My name, my name is Sasami." Said well… you figure it out. "Whats your name?"  
  
"My name, my…" said the idiot.  
  
"STOP COPYING ME GODDAMNIT! *Idiot voice* My name, my name is My name, my name is My name, my name is My name, my name is! *Normal voice* YOU GUYS SHUT UP NOW YA'LL MEAN!"  
  
"Ok ok, my name is Bill, Bill Clinton!"  
  
"Uh you, you're an idiot… uh um mister, sir, lady Clinton! Oh sorry!"  
  
"That's ok. Now show me some BABES!"  
  
"K!"  
  
Bill and Sasami skip all the way to the Masaki house. "Lalalalala lalalala lalalala!" They sing.  
  
"SHUT UP SON!" yelled some boy in his room… alone. "Ahhh! I thought I told you to stop coming in my room Ryoko!"  
  
"Sorry Tenchi, but the author of this STUPID story said you where alone."  
  
"He didn't say that! That was me trying to get some babes!" said Nobuyuki walking down the hallway.  
  
"I didn't put you in this fic you idiot, asshole! Now I will vanquish AKU! UH I MEAN YOU! FEEL MY WRATH! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" said the author.  
  
Washu comes out of nowhere, "That's MY LINE! AHHHHH!"  
  
"Well im outta here!" Yells Nobuyuki as he gets away from the author.  
  
"See what you did you small scientist the size of a happy meal!" I said.  
  
Washu was gone.  
  
"I'll get her later. Now back to the fic!"  
  
"Ok that was weird." Said Tenchi, "Now, no Ryoko I said that to get me some babes! AH!" He said trying to jump on Ryoko.  
  
"Oh Tenchi." She said jumping on him and letting him do what ever he wanted to do to her.  
  
"Now that's a comfy chair." Said Tenchi now sitting on Ryoko.  
  
"Oh whatever, im going to take a bath, care to join me Tenchi." Said Ryoko seductively.  
  
"Um im going to go take a shit first ok?" said Tenchi blushing.  
  
"Uh Tenchi run." She said as Tenchi ran to take a `dumpling`, "He didn't have to tell me that, but at least he going to take a bath with me. I mean he didn't say no."  
  
In the bathroom no lets skip that.  
  
Sasami and `Bill` skipped along. "Here we are!" Said Sasami.  
  
"Great!" Time to rape beautiful women!  
  
Sasami opened the door and let Bill in.  
  
"Where are the WOMEN!"  
  
"Right this way Mr. Bill. Heh heh heh." She went up stairs to her room with Bill close behind. "AYEKA! Where were you? You whore meet Bill Clinton the former PRESIDENT OF THE UNI…"  
  
"Yeah, Um, you don't have to scream. Sasami." Said Bill trying to calm down Sasami.  
  
"TED STATES!" She Finished. Off.  
  
"Well if you want to know I was left here by ALIENS! His name was Zim or some thing like that." Said Ayeka. Bill was already drooling, but his head was turned to Tenchi`s room where Ryoko waited for Tenchi.  
  
"I will BE RIGHT BACK!" Yells some little green guy never to return.  
  
"On nick..." Laughed Ayeka.  
  
"…elodeon!" said Sasami.  
  
"Who's that babe!" Said Bill, his eyes still on the pirate.  
  
"That's Ryoko." Said Sasami pushing Bill in and closing the door behind him.  
  
In Tenchi's room. "Who the hell are you!"  
  
"Why im BILL CLINTON!"  
  
"Yeah yeah. What are you doing here? Idiot gonna try to rape me." Bill nodded. "Well that's not going to happen. But there's a princess out there waiting for you!"  
  
"Hot dog im there!" He said as he exited the room.  
  
"Now to wait for Tenchi." She said `changing` into `something else to wear`.  
  
In Sasami and Ayeka's room, Bill just came in and jumped on Ayeka.  
  
"Oh MISTER BILL, DO ME HARD!"  
  
"Ah screw it I'll do it my self." Said Sasami chopping Bill's head off with her tinny hand and doing the same to Ayeka. "One down two to go." The music finally stopped for Bill as his head landed on his crotch and Ayeka's head landed on her FLAT chest.  
  
Sasami walked down the stairs into Washu's lab to find her with…  
  
"Tenchi takes to long, im gonna go check on him." Ryoko said skipping along the hall way singing, "Lalalalala lalalalalala thun thun thun thun!"  
  
"Sheut uop son!" muffled Bill as he died.  
  
"Tenchi are you ok in there!"  
  
"Im fine."  
  
"How long are you going to take in there?"  
  
"IM DONE!" He yelled as he flushed the toilet and washed his hands… good.  
  
"Ok Tenchi let me in already!"  
  
"Um ok." Tenchi said opening the door and trying to get out but Ryoko was in the way. "Ryoko!"  
  
"What Tenchi, you said we were going to take a bath together."  
  
"When."  
  
"Just listen to the flashback."  
  
-Flashback-  
  
"Now, no Ryoko I said that to get me some babes! AH!" Tenchi said trying to jump on Ryoko.  
  
"Oh Tenchi." She said jumping on him and letting him do what ever he wanted to do to her.  
  
"Now that's a comfy chair." Said Tenchi now sitting on Ryoko.  
  
"Oh whatever, im going to take a bath, care to join me Tenchi." Said Ryoko seductively.  
  
"Um im going to go take a shit first ok?" said Tenchi blushing.  
  
-End flashback-  
  
"See Tenchi!"  
  
"Well I didn't exactly say yes either."  
  
"Yes you did you want to se the flashback again."  
  
"Oh alright i'll take a bath with you." He said hanging his head. "But why so late at night."  
  
"You wouldn't care Tenchi. Now lets go!" She said dragging him along. (A/N Now im gonna keep this rated R so let go see what Sasami and Washu are doing.)  
  
"Washu your with a a a…"  
  
"A what!"  
  
"A cat!" Said Sasami with a song in her head. dun dun dun!  
  
"So what im experimenting on it."  
  
"Oh. Washu!"  
  
"What!"  
  
Sasami ran up to her and yelled, "I'm going to kill you!"  
  
"Why isn't that nice. What!" She said as she was cut in two.  
  
"My REVENGE is almost complete, but I didn't have to kill Washu. So still two more!" Sasami said skipping out of the lab of a dead scientist. "Tenchi!"  
  
"Yeah im just getting some thing to eat because I got away from Ryoko and she's looking for me right now. Can you hide me Sasami?"  
  
"Sure Tenchi, BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"What's wrong with you Sasami?"  
  
"Noooooothing."  
  
"Hide me I got the food already. I think I hear her coming right now!"  
  
"Hide behind the couch i'll deal with Ryoko."  
  
"Thanks Sasami."  
  
"Hey Sasami where's Tenchi." Said Ryoko coming down the stairs. Sasami just pointed behind the couch.  
  
"Thanks Sasami!" She went behind the couch got Tenchi and teleported to the bath.  
  
"I'll just get them later." Said Sasami walking up the stairs to Tenchi's room where she waited for them.  
  
"Oh Tenchi that tastes so GOOD!" Said Ryoko as she swallowed the white liquid… "What do you call this Tenchi? I want more!"  
  
"It's called milk Ryoko, here." He said as he handed her another cup of milk.  
  
"YUMMY!"  
  
In Tenchi's room. Sasami got up and walked down to her room. "BORING! I'll just wait till tomorrow." She laid down next to Ayeka and fell asleep.  
  
To Be Continued  
  
  
  
Well believe it or not that took me 1 hour to make. That's short for how fast I type… Since I only got three review the other time, i'll wait for six reviews in total to write more. 


	3. Sasami's revenge-Part 2

Author note! Now i'm back! I went in a straight down to hell with my homework, oh and I was so lazy. Sorry! Reviews one-month-old, thank you, ThaNK You (I know how to spell)! Oh and the flamers... you actually read the summary. Oh and I made a new "thingy"(don't correct me) (shut up) because some of you guys didn't know who the hell was talking. This one is not that funny. Now to stop my stalling and your bitching, ON WITH THE FIC! Means thinking  
  
Disclaimer: Now do we have to go over this shit?  
  
????: (New! sad!) MOMMY!  
  
???: Sorry Tenchi, but she's dead.  
  
Tenchi: Oh yeah... DAMN IT! Oh no!  
  
???: What!  
  
Tenchi: Nothing Ryok...  
  
Ryoko: Remember what to call me!  
  
Tenchi: Ryoko my-Do I have to say it!  
  
Ryoko: Yes TenCHI!  
  
Tenchi: Ryoko my l-l-l-LEG!  
  
Ryoko: See not hard at all.  
  
They came out of the bathroom.(Kids: ouuuuuh) (I don't know what that says.)  
  
Tenchi: I'm gonna DIE!  
  
Grandpa YOSHO!(Grandpa means shit!): Oh shut up! Opps I spit on him  
  
Tenchi was covered in spit.  
  
Tenchi: Oh GRANDPA! I'm so happy! I'm gonna take a bath again!  
  
Ryoko: CAN I COME! I love taking a bath in the morning! Puppy eyes, puppy eyes. Ah there we go!  
  
Tenchi: Um-um-um Oh All right! (Hehheh Tenchi's horny.) Just a bath though, not what we did last night!  
  
Ryoko: But I thought you liked it!  
  
Tenchi: I don't like soaking all night! Lets go! And put a towel on this time or at least a bathing suit.  
  
Ryoko: You don't like to see me naked! Are you gay?  
  
Tenchi: *Deep breath* Hell no I am not GAY! I liked it Ryoko, but maybe another time... Like when pigs fly. *Sees a fat ass pig flying out the window, from his house* God has blessed me! (I'm not going to write a nc/17 fic so sit down! Readers: this fic ain't no good. *Takes out a gun and shoots*  
  
Ryoko: Ok. Not now, but another time... Why not right no...  
  
Tenchi: Uupuupuup, I thought I made myself clear, woman.  
  
Ryoko: Your loss!  
  
Yosho: You tell it Ryoko!  
  
Tenchi: *sigh* Lets go.  
  
??: Ah nice sleep... What was I doing last night? *She looked around and saw ONLY Bill (never to be seen again) there lying on the ground dead* (It's Sasami!)  
  
Oh yeah, two more... HEY, WHERE'S AYEKA!  
  
Chapter 3 - Sasamis revenge part TWO! (You thought I forgot the title)  
  
IN HELL  
  
Ayeka: Where am I!  
  
Kagato: You're in my house!  
  
Kain: Yes, his house.  
  
Sakuya: I thought we were in hell.  
  
Kain: Oh, but we are!  
  
Kagato: Get in doors quick because when it gets dark, watch out. People rape around here.  
  
Ayeka: Well then I'm outta here! *She climbs a secret ladder*  
  
Sakuya: Come back soon! (Suddenly it turns dark) OH NO!  
  
Kagato: MUAHAHAHA HA  
  
Kain: I got her eye!  
  
Kagato: Damn, well I got her ass-chin!  
  
Devil: *sweat drops* *SIGH* I got her ear.  
  
Sakuya: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ayeka(Way up there!): Gross! (SHE IS NOW OUT OF HELL AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE MASAKI HOUSEHOLD!) Shut up Monkey! (A/N This is where I kick her ass, lets go back to Sasami.  
  
Sasami: * Looks out window* There she is getting her ass kicked by a monkey, weird. Oh well down to business. Time to kill Tenchi and Ryoko!  
  
Ryoko: Tenchi!  
  
Tenchi: Ryoko!  
  
Both: That one was GOOD!  
  
Tenchi: That was intense.  
  
Ryoko: Yes it was. LETS DO IT AGAIN!  
  
Tenchi: No, 20 screaming contests are too much for me.  
  
Ryoko: Oh all right. What do you want to do now? *Leaning on the wall facing Tenchi with a very seductive smile* (remember regular bathroom)  
  
Tenchi: Lets get out now. *Not even facing her*  
  
Ryoko: Ok...  
  
Sasami gets out of the room and sees Tenchi and Ryoko walking out of the bathroom to each other's room.  
  
Sasami: Ouuuuuhh. So you two got it on already.  
  
They both blush.  
  
Ryoko: Not yet kiddo.  
  
Tenchi blushed even deeper.  
  
Sasami: Ok... What's that over there! *She points in back of them* (They look.) HAYA! *She jumps at them*  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Lights are flickering... Other than that it's very dark. A very dark red hand comes up. And a head rolling around saying...  
  
?: I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!  
  
To be continued.  
  
That took a while to write! Ah got to stretch! Sorry it took so long, but it was my homework, my laziness and writers block. I'll try to put up last chapters before March 8. And just if I don't this is to get you guys going on chapter 4.  
  
Next time. Sasami will finally calm  
  
down. But what will happen to Tenchi  
  
and Ryoko? Who was the head? Will I  
  
stop asking questions? More head rolling!  
  
All questions answered in chapter 4-Eye Raped! 


End file.
